What makes a happy relationship?
Seven pairs reflect on the sweetest parts of their bond
With Valentine’s Day around the corner — and knowing that my two boys, Jake (12) and Jones (10), each have “girlfriends” — the conversation about relationships and what draws people to each other has become an important one in our home.
Recently over dinner, I asked my sons to think of all the examples of love in their lives and the various relationships they see around them. Who do they feel have healthy and loving relationships? The conversation started with a focus on romantic relationships, but then expanded to include other types, too: cousins, friends, siblings, and so on.
Each narrowed in on a relationship they adored, and both happened to be parents of their close friends. These are people my kids feel comfortable with, and their homes are places where they spend a ton of time. It tickles me because both of these relationships are ones that I also adore.
I asked the two couples my kids picked what they felt made their relationship happy, and was moved to ask the same question to a few other cute couples as well. Since we can never really know what goes on behind closed doors or what another person is actually feeling, I figured it’s best to go to the people directly.
Whether they’re kids or adults, business partners or cousins, best friends or lovers — here is what I found!
Michael and Shane (Jake’s pick)
What is your relationship?
Married. With children.
What makes your relationship happy?
Michael: We have a little mantra: Dream bigger and be happier. We encourage each other to grow and are best friends. And we definitely spray tan together!
Shane: It’s true. Michael told me that before our wedding and we have been saying it ever since: “Dream bigger and be happier.” We really respect each other, and are honest at all costs. We also disagree a lot and that’s where the respect part comes in because if our opinions differ, we really try to see where the other person is coming from.
Ashley and Kyle (Jones’s pick)
What is your relationship?
A partnership in every sense. Married, yes, but more importantly — co-conspirators in life, adventure, and love.
What makes your relationship happy?
We thrive on movement — whether it’s exploring new cities, building careers, or simply figuring out what’s next in our family schedule. The key? We don’t place blame; we solve problems together.
Advice on having a happy relationship:
Always have a way to find each other again. When life moves fast, we reset with something that’s just ours — like a concert or a museum opening. It’s less about the event and more about the ritual of returning to each other.
Jones + Theo, age 10
What is your relationship?
Best friends
What makes your relationship happy?
We also like the same games, stick up for each other, and see each other a lot. It also helps if both people have the same taste in music, and if they care about each other.
Ro (6) + Eddy (5)
What is your relationship?
Cousins
What makes your relationship happy?
Ro: When I fall, Eddy helps me and takes me to the nurse. We always go out to dinner with each other. She always plays with me on the playground and I don’t have to find her or wait for her. And after we have a big fight, we talk about it and play together and say, ‘I love you.’
Eddy: Ro is always helping me, and that makes me feel good. She always helps me when I feel scared. I also like to play with Ro. She’s so special to me.
Jen (Me) + Julie
What is your relationship?
Besties and soulmates — for 25 years and counting
What makes your relationship happy?
Jen: Julie and I met in college, when life felt open and opportunity endless. I had never experienced friendship as this kind of love before, but it was there that I realized I do believe we get to have a few soulmates, and she is one of mine. I can be myself around her, embracing all the parts of me that I love, and all the parts that are uncomfortable or not worked through yet. We also share an understanding of how fleeting and fast life is, and how we want to live it to its fullest. We remind each other of this when we need the reminding. And no matter what, Julie has my back.
Julie: Oh, so many things! There is unmitigated support. We are different enough that we bring out different sides of each other and bring new perspectives to our friendship, but we also share the same values. We can be silly, and we can be serious. We don’t judge each other. And — we are both so good looking!
Bella + Nate — young love
What is your relationship?
Our relationship is the kind of raw, unfiltered, and almost childlike magic that can only come from love in your 20’s.
What makes your relationship happy?
A happy relationship is built on curiosity, patience and a willingness to learn. The magic comes from asking questions, quietly observing, and truly listening. We’ve found happiness in the balance of give and take — understanding each other’s needs, communicating openly, and embracing both the highs and lows.
Our partnership has made us both more empathetic, patient, and intentional — not just with each other, but with the world around us. We always take the time to check in on each other’s days, explore new interests together, and discover something new about each other every day. We both consider ourselves very lucky to get to love each other.
Susan + Ryan
What is your relationship?
Mom and daughter
What makes your relationship happy?
What makes our relationship so special is the unwavering commitment to nurturing our bond above all else. We have always prioritized quality time together, no matter how busy life gets. Even after over a year of working side by side in business, we’ve remained fiercely protective of our personal connection by setting firm boundaries, always putting our individual needs first and never letting work conversations creep into family moments.
This includes prioritizing coaching sessions together, weekly breakfasts to connect on a personal level, and always leading with honesty. Being a mother myself (Ryan) to one daughter, with another on the way, my deep respect for my mom has only shifted and grown as I now understand firsthand the love and dedication she’s always given me. It’s this deep-rooted respect and love for each other that keeps our relationship not just strong, but truly one-of-a-kind.
I hope this little exploration of love and relationships brings you a smile (and maybe even a tear)!
And next time you have a disagreement or fight with someone you love, do like Eddy and Ro: Talk it out and play together again — and don’t forget to say “I love you.”
Happy Valentine’s Day,
Jen
Jones you are my pick! I love you and your family!